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Sunday, September 22, 2002

Updated some files, going thru links now.. Been busy with school etc.. sorry for the lack of updates -=T

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.

"O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife

"No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I'm not attached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.

"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black".

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porno movie. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes."

"Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this, the midwife again apologises, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the butt. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!"

"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark."

!
-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 3:10 PM

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

"Although, their lives ended in tragedy, they did not die in vain"
We will never forget.

9.11.01

-Starr

..:: posted by Starr 7:27 AM

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Wow I havent updated here in a long time *smacks self*..
I've been moving.. we moved to a new house, a really nice big house! We live up the hill from Saltwater State Park so we have been at the beach there alot lately.. yeah Im sunburnt!
I'm going to be giving StarrVisions a new look soon.. I have alot of stuff to add to it I have been saving/collecting too.
So look for that in the furture [=-
Meanwhile.. some funnies out my mail..
Take care<3

Ole and Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a BIC lighter 10 inches long.

"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking the huge BIC lighter in his hands. "Vhere did yew get dat monster??"

"Vell," replied Ole, "I got it from my Genie." "You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" Sven asked. "Ya, shure, right here in my tackle box," says Ole.

"Could I see him?" So Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the genie. Addressing the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master.

Vill you grant me vun vish?" "Yes I will", says the genie.
So, Sven asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks. Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks, flying overhead. Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Ole,"I asked for a million BUCKS, not a million Ducks!"

Ole answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew, da genie is hard of hearing. Do yew reelly tink I asked for a 10 inch BIC!?
___

Actual comments made by NYC teachers on their report cards as
of their final narratives. All teachers were reprimanded!

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your child is depriving a village of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't here.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be wateredtwice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is gone.

-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 4:23 PM

Friday, June 28, 2002

Today is my bestfriend; Anja's 21st Birthday Happy Birthday Anja!!

Love ya girl<333333333

-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 9:03 PM

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

::wavs:: I added a few more files for aol stuff.. working on new layouts for all my sites. Have loads of new content going up here soon.. BUT I'm moving to a different house so it's going to be a little bit until I have time to get it all set.
Got this from a guy I know... It's so cute!

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys the following:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "So, you single?"

The woman replies very sarcastically, "How did you guess?"

He replies, "Because you're fucking ugly".

Have a great week everyone<3<3
-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 1:15 AM

Monday, June 03, 2002

I know.. it's been forever since I posted.. but yes, I have been keeping up with everything else...
Here is just some stuff so I can say I did update X=-

Signs your cat is too fat!!
Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
Confused guests constantly mistaking him for a beanbag chair.
Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
No longer cleans self unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
Catfood dish replaced with a trough.
Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pantsuit.
It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
She only catches mice that get trapped in her gravitational pull.
Has more chins than lives.

The Lawyer
There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"
In seconds, he chooses Paul.
Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.
"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

I have a little more time lately.. so I will be updating and adding more soon [=-

-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 6:59 PM

Thursday, April 18, 2002

One more of these crap mails and I am gonna scream! Ever hear.. "if it's to good to be true; it probably isnt"?

The Worst Internet Hoaxes
Gotcha! E-mail hoaxes are out to get you. Here are the ten most cunning ruses to watch out for.
-Scott Spanbauer
Communicating by e-mail seems safe and clean compared to the real world--no bad breath, no cauliflower ear, and no anthrax. But e-mail doesn't escape the clutches of con artists. Just because an e-mail message looks legitimate and plays upon our deeply felt hopes and fears doesn't mean it's true. Here's our top ten list of some of the most devious hoaxes and outright scams in Internet history. Don't be surprised to see some of them appear (and mutate into new forms) again and again.
And don't get taken in.

10. Let the Good Times Roll Even the threat of a computer virus is enough to throw many PC users into a tizzy. And virus warning hoaxes are nearly as bad as the real thing. Frightened recipients frantically forward the bogus advisory to everyone they know. One of the first phony bulletins warned recipients not to read or download any files with the name Good Times. Naturally, the message spread like a virus, bogging down mail servers. Do you have a virus alert but you're not sure if it's genuine? Visit Vmyths.com.

9. Help a Sick Child Who wouldn't want to save a little girl dying of cancer? Or help a little boy with epilepsy? The various incarnations of this hoax go on and on. Most of them involve forwarding the e-mail message to others. In return, the American Cancer Society, a hospital, or another medical organization will donate anywhere from a few cents to a dollar to the non-existent child. See HoaxBusters for chapter and verse.

8. Bill Gates Reaches Out to You Impossible as it may seem, Bill Gates is contacting you, personally. And not only that, the billionaire wants to give you money! "My name is Bill Gates. Here at Microsoft we have just compiled an e-mail tracing program..." Naturally, there will be some forwarding of e-mail involved. Starting to see a pattern? Variations on this theme appear to come from Walt Disney Jr. (who never existed), The Gap, Victoria's Secret, and AOL. To get the skinny, hop to HoaxBusters.

7. Dial 809 for Trouble This started as a real e-mail scam, but somebody managed to turn the whole thing into a hoax, too. A few years back, an e-mail message requesting payment of an "outstanding account" demanded that recipients call a number in the 809 area code (a Caribbean prefix) to clear things up. Lots of people dialed the number only to incur $25-per-minute phone charges. ScamBusters exposed the original threat, but some joker started circulating an altered version of the ScamBusters report that adds to the confusion. According to ScamBusters, there were other area codes used in the scam: 242 (Bahamas), 284 (British Virgin Islands), and 787 (Puerto Rico). Does that mean you should never dial numbers in the 809 area code or these other zones? Of course not. Head to HoaxBusters for the dirt.

6. Money Nonsense in Nigeria You receive an urgent, confidential message from a Nigerian government official who wants to deposit millions of dollars in your bank account. The official is contacting you in order to bypass some local bureaucratic snafu. All he needs is your name and bank account number. Should you respond, or delete the message? You might find it peculiar, but lots of people have been conned out of their savings in this dangerous and ongoing con game, known as the Advance Fee Fraud, 419 Fraud, or Nigerian Scam. According to the 419 Coalition Web site, the con has pulled in more than $5 billion and is one of the largest industries in Nigeria. For details, check out ScamBusters or the posting by the United States Treasury Department.

5. Save Big Bird Everybody knows that PBS needs your support to keep delivering its programming. So when you receive a professionally written plea quoting Nina Totenberg and warning that the system is in danger, it comes as no surprise. You don't even have to send money, just--you guessed it--forward the message. This kind of hoax is bound to stick around for a while. So for future reference, remember that there is no such thing as an e-mail petition. Hop to About.com for more details.

4. The $250 Cookie Recipe This is a true story, really. It must be--I read about it in an e-mail message. You've probably stumbled upon this message, too. But in case you haven't heard, the story goes like this: Someone ate a cookie for dessert at a restaurant in a Neiman Marcus store. The customer asked for the recipe, and was charged $250 for it (not "$2.50," as expected). Though this urban legend dates back more than 50 years, according to the San Fernando Valley Folklore Society, it's gained a new life thanks to the wonders of e-mail. Whatever you do, don't bother forwarding it.

3. Deodorant Endangers Your Health? We tend to believe reasonable first-person accounts, especially if they report the advice of doctors or other experts and prey on our fears. A convincing-sounding message forwarded from a woman who attended a health seminar warned that deodorant can cause breast cancer. There's no truth to the story, says the American Cancer Society. But post the message to your favorite mailing list and just watch the panic ensue. You can stop worrying about shampoo and toothpaste, too.

2. Last Photo From the World Trade Center Deck? Even the tragic events of September 11th have spawned hoaxes. Did you see the photo posted on the Web of a tourist posing on the World Trade Center observation deck a split second before an airliner crashed into it? Visit the Urban Legends Reference Pages for the photo and the reasons why it never happened.

1. Next Time, Just Say "I Don't Know" If you've been suckered by an e-mail hoax, you're in good company. During the 2000 elections, a gullible television reporter asked debating Senate candidates Hillary Clinton and Rick Lazio about pending legislation to establish a 5-cent tax on e-mail messages. Both stated their opposition to it--live on the air. Never mind that no such bill ever existed--the reporter had just read one of those urgent e-mails. Go to HoaxBusters for the full report.

Ok now that i have that off my chest..

I have decided to let Online Journals become part of the webring. Just need to post the one of the image links in your user info... fair enough?
Thats about it... Take care everyone [=-

(Look Don.. updated BOTH of them Go Me!)
Don<3<34
-Starr !

..:: posted by Starr 2:26 PM